BOUNDARIES !! Thursday Gists With IyanulOluwa Ololade

BOUNDARIES !! Thursday Gists With IyanulOluwa Ololade
ololadeiyanuloluwa@gmail.com.

A Yoruba adage states,“Oko ki n je ti baba at’omo k’oma l’aala”. This means that if a father and his son own a farmland, there must be a boundary. The essence of the boundary is to help each one to identify his portion, thereby knowing his responsibilities, limits and expectations. All these will at the end prevent unnecessary quarrel. For each will know that whatever the input he puts into his portion, that will determine the output. Then, trespass is prohibited.

That adage is applicable to our relationship with people at various levels. Healthy boundaries can either be set verbally or through a consistent disposition during certain instances which those in a relationship with you can easily deduce, master and stick to as they relate with you. Boundaries can come in the area of religion, faith or spirituality. This means that anyone in a relationship with you should not discuss or intrude into your spiritual activities. We can also have sexual or personal boundaries. For either of those, no one is permitted to ask questions relating to one’s sexual life or private matters.

Depending on our personality type and that of the individuals we relate with, we can only determine the aspects of our lives on which we want to set boundaries. We can either have a general boundary that can stand as a standard for our relationships with people or specific boundary based on the personality type of the people we relate with. Boundaries will help you and those in a relationship with you to understand one another’s likes, dislikes and how to relate one with another; adhering to what each is comfortable with and how each will like to be treated. This will also minimize conflicts. Anyone who crosses such boundaries intentionally and repeatedly is signaling a threat to ruin your relationship as well as frustrate you. And to such, one must show displeasure, discuss it and call the person to order. In all these, we must not forget that communication is key.

As individuals, we must be sensitive enough to understand the boundaries that others have set for themselves and adhere to them strictly. Adaptability as one of the attributes of living things should help us to understand and adapt to the styles of everyone we relate with especially by first studying their personality type. We must not frustrate anyone’s graciousness by over-stepping boundaries. If peradventure we come to the consciousness that we might have overstepped certain boundaries, we need to admit and apologize.