“WHAT WENT WRONG? !! Thursday Gists With IyanulOluwa Ololade

THURSDAY GISTS WITH IYANULOLUWA OLOLADE
ololadeiyanuloluwa@gmail.com
WHAT WENT WRONG?

Hello dear reader!
Have you ever asked a friend, colleague or lover what went wrong in your relationship with him or her, like when you or someone else noticed the wide drifts or changes in an existing behavioural pattern? This time, I am not referring to toxic or abusive relationships.

Sometimes we are left to wonder what went wrong with our “so lovely” relationship with a friend, colleague or lover. For a season we may seem inseparable then within a short while, we will forget all we ever shared; the memories will be made to wash down the drain and we will go our separate ways like we were never intimate. This can be as a result of some disappointing character, betrayal, competition, envy, intimidation and what have you.

Humans are we, our past experiences, emotional intelligence, resilience and maturity varies; this is why we need to always use the C-U-P approach in our relationships in order to maintain a cordial standpoint. C-U-P spells out as follows:
Communication: Communication is key in every of our social interaction. If you do not let me into what triggers your anger, I may not easily identify it. We should be careful with our verbal communication and the non-verbal communication too. We should learn how, when and where to discuss issues and settle whatever bone of contention that may want to arise as when appropriate. Most importantly, we should learn to communicate efficiently, leaving no speculation or gap.

Understanding: Some have built unseen walls around themselves as a result of past experiences and no matter how well you try to impress them, you just cannot. This is where understanding comes to play. Another aspect of our social interaction is boundary. We must understand and respect the boundaries people have set for themselves. An attempt to break any of such boundaries will be an invitation to war.
Patience: Patience is key though patience that is taken for granted can be so devastating and annoying, We cannot establish neither can we maintain a cordial relationship if we are not patient. Patience enables forgiveness and enhances our understanding of the other party. Make sure to have recorded a continuous failed mutual C-U-P before giving up on that relationship. Till I write to you next week, kindly stay safe.